One of the horses passed Thursday afternoon. There was nothing that could be done, he’d choked on his grain a few days earlier and even with vet care the fluid that built up in his lungs was too much. SellerH was there when he went down, and she moved the rest of her horses out the next day.
With SellerH (and her working student, StevieO) gone, the barn has been quiet. There are only a couple other boarders at 10M and I don’t really see them all that often. Not only that, but all the stalls around Raglan are empty now, so he’s alone, too. It makes me sad that he doesn’t have friends anymore.
The owners gave me the option of moving him to the lower barn so he’d have pals, but that doesn’t solve MY loneliness. I wish I was so motivated that I’d go to the barn and ride no matter what, but I’ve always been a socially driven person when it comes to horses. It’s like that old saying about a tree falling in a forest, but more like “if Stephani rides but there’s no one to talk to, does she really ride at all?” 😂
I’ve gone to look at a few different places over the past couple of months, but all of them have been missing critical components—no indoor arena, no turnout, no trails, no people that jump, etc. The hunter/jumper barns in the area are too expensive. The eventing barns are too far away. Everywhere I looked I had to choose between my happiness and Raglan’s quality of life.
I moped most of the weekend away. One day I went to bed at 5:30PM and slept for fourteen hours. Easter Sunday my mother came out to the barn and talked some sense into me.
When SellerH and StevieO were originally talking about moving we tried to find a barn that had everything we wanted and wasn’t too far of a drive for any of us. Time and time again, SellerH brought up the area’s most popular facility—the SEC. Going back to the SEC felt like going backwards, but the more I thought about it the more I found myself wondering: why did I leave in the first place?
Looking back, the things that I gained from my move to KW are all things that I gave up when I moved to 10M. They were small things, especially when compared to all of the amenities that the SEC provides. I think a big part of me was just looking for a change of pace wherever I could find it. I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past eight months, and while I don’t regret discovering what life is like without being deeply involved in a lesson program, I’m ready to come home.