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… and Learning to Move Forward

… and Learning to Move Forward

TrainerA came out on Sunday to show Ezhno to a potential buyer. I haven’t been riding Ezhno (just a bit of small walk/jog here and there), but he thrives on a chill lifestyle, so he was a complete angel. He even sidled up to a big ramp so that the potential buyer could get on him without straining her injured knee.

The last time I went to sell Ezhno, I was upset. This time my mind feels quiet. I’m tired and stressed from trying to sort everything out, but I don’t feel like I’m losing a piece of myself anymore. As much as I love him and appreciate everything he’s taught me, I just don’t enjoy riding him anymore. I don’t think it’s fair to prevent him from finding a new person, especially not if there’s a chance that continuing to struggle to afford him could make me feel bitter in the long run.

A reunion—and a final goodbye

Yesterday, after I got Raglan settled into his new stall (which is Ezhno’s old stall at the new barn), I introduced Ez to the Miley. It took 30 minutes to get Raglan into the trailer, but Ezhno (who has no practice with straight loads or with loading onto a trailer with a ramp) got on in 5 MINUTES.

Clearly he’s just the best horse ever ❤

Ezhno’s potential new owners live just off of a local trail system—like walk down the driveway and you’re there. Ezhno hauled like a pro (outside of his inability to back down the ramp, which is fair since we’ve never practiced it; we ended up twisting ourselves around to face forward and walking off that way). Then we turned him out in a pasture next to his new buddy.

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Ezhno settling into his potential new home today ♥

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He’s on trial for the next two weeks. The hope is that he’ll be a good trail horse so that the buyer and her husband can tackle the trails together. I feel good about the people and about his new lifestyle. I think they’ll be a great fit! Maybe I’ll feel more sad at the end of the month, but for now things are okay. 🙂

Into the Darkness

Into the Darkness

Last night was hard. As excited as I am to have Ezhno back, I’m also anxious about the financial burden involved. I’ve already got a not-so-small amount of debt, so paying board for two horses makes my stomach clench. And then I started worrying about how Ezhno was settling in at the new facility (which is ridiculous; he’s the most laid back creature ever)… in the end, I decided to take advantage of how close Ezhno’s barn is to my house and swing by on my way home from work.

Look at this beast! He’s clearly in distress! Yeah, he was fine, obviously 😅

I intended to just check in on Ezhno (and SellerH’s horses!), so I didn’t bring in any of my junk. Once I was in the barn, though, I couldn’t help myself. I put Ezhno’s halter on, took him into the dark arena (I couldn’t find the lightswitch LOL), tied his lead rope into a pair of reins, and wiggled my way onto him.

There are days where my fear cripples my ability to ride. But, when it comes down to it, there is no other horse out there I would get on in the dark, in a new place, with his blankets still on, without my helmet, with only just a halter and a lead rope, with absolutely no fear to be felt.

He’ll never be the strongest or the fastest or bravest or the most talented, but he gives me so much.

The Prodigal Son

The Prodigal Son

The past two months have been good for me. The money I saved from not paying Ezhno’s board convinced me to purchase the Miley, plus I’ve had the chance to focus on Raglan’s training and really get to know him without having to split my attention between two horses. In all honesty, it’s been a relief to take a step back and let someone else worry about Ezhno for sixty days while I got my relationship with Raglan sorted out.

None of that changes the fact that when SellerH messaged me to let me know that she’d be moving all of her horses into full care board and that she wouldn’t be able to afford to keep Ezhno, I was excited. I didn’t realize how much I missed spending time with my favorite Paint while he was gone.

SellerH planned on moving all of her horses at the end of Ezhno’s lease. The board at the new place (currently dubbed 10M in my head, since it’s literally ten minutes from my house) is suspiciously cheap, so I sent Ezhno with them so that I could check it out. More on the boarding situation later, but for now suffice it to say that Ezhno was as chill as ever and settled right into the new barn.

The moment we had everything put away, I threw my bulky-as-hell show saddle on Ezhno and took him to hand walk a couple of laps in the arena. He didn’t really look twice at anything, so I hopped on and we walked and jogged for a little bit. A few taps with my spurs and he settled right in.

I’m not going to lie, now that I’ve figured out what sort of horse I really enjoy riding, Ezhno’s not the funnest steed around. He’s so lazy. I hate the stupid western saddle, it makes my thighs hurt. Jogging makes me feel like I’m going nowhere and I miss the feeling of having a huge engine underneath me that I can rev up when I need it. In short: two months hasn’t changed the fact that Ezhno’s not my type anymore.

But as I led him out to the parking lot so that I could dump his saddle into my car (there’s no lock on the tack room), I was reminded me of the first time I met Ezhno, back in September 2016. I’d come out to look at him after spending the morning at a schooling show. He’d been so quiet during our ride, to the point that I thought he was boring, but I appreciated the way he trailed happily behind me and how he hadn’t flinched when I chucked the saddle onto the hood of the car and threw the door to the back seat open.

Throwing a different saddle into the car a year and a half later, with the same beautiful face standing politely at my side

After our reunion ride was over, I fed him a handful of treats, shared part of my apple with him, and then went and sat with him in his stall for a while. He might not be my favorite horse to ride anymore, but that doesn’t make his place in my heart any smaller. Glad to have you back with me, bubba ❤

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schlorp schlorp schlorp 🍏♥

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