My feelings about selling Ezhno fluctuate on a daily basis. For the most part there’s a net gain of happiness and optimism in my life now that I’m moving forward, but some days I have a really good time cavorting about the arena on my trustworthy Paint gelding and I find myself doubting my decisions.
What if I could force myself to be satisfied with a life of performance, western pleasure, and trail rides?
What if Ezhno actually could jump, just a little tiny bit, even if he wasn’t super passionate about it?
There are somethings in relationships that shouldn’t be compromised. For human relationships it might be things like children, family, friendships, or culture/religion.
For horse-rider relationships, discipline is a dealbreaker.
It’s been a long time since I rode Boston. He’s been a busy horse (a lot of riders in our program are starting to dabble over fences), so when I got on him his nervousness was nonexistent, he was feeling pretty lazy, and he wanted to be sort of heavy in my hand. It was lovely, but I tried to talk myself out of riding when he felt “weird”. Thankfully my trainer is really good at talking me out of talking myself out of things. 😆
It was a pretty easy lesson—counting down to a ground pole and jumping a cross rail a few times—but it was so much fun to go back to basics and feel super comfortable with what we were doing (not to mention being at the point where I was the demo rider for the lesson, which always feels good). It was also a great reminder that I love cantering, I love jumping, and I don’t want either of those things to be a source of anxiety when they normally make me feel so awesome.
Also, I felt pretty damn proud when I was counting down from five, knew I wasn’t going to make it, then made the conscious decision to ask B-Dawg for a long spot to avoid over-counting. Trainer M praised me for my decision making skills, which I consider to be a success all on its own. 😀
Then on Wednesday I had the chance to teach two young students that have just begun their jumping journey. We did a rehash of the Boston lesson, with an added focus of anchoring down through their lower leg as much as possible, and they were so excited to be going over cross rails! Their enthusiasm was downright contagious.
Being around so many riders that are finding their passion for jumping has made me very excited to get a new horse that enjoys it as much as I do!